Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Learning & Mindfulness

The past few months have been rocky and difficult to traverse for me. Beginning with illness that was getting worse, to having to deal with anger, depression, acceptance, and forgiveness. All these, very valid, and very true; also very huge mountains for me to conquer. But these life challenges have come to me as a blessing in disguise; an incredibly ugly, painful and vile package it came in. Yet once stripped away the confusion, the anger, the sadness, the victimization and the wishes for justice; it all merely was a catalyst for my inner well being; my relationship suddenly came to that awakening it needed so desperately, my quickly dissolving health began to turn around almost immediately, and now I'm beginning to leach the poison out of my life that has bound me to negativity for weeks.
In my quest for quieting my mind and hushing the anger, hurt, and resentments; I've found some peace. Little by little, each day, I take with honesty and attempt to do so with a quiet calm. I'm learning what forgiveness is, and reaffirming my compassion and understanding.

In my younger days, I would have dealt with my problems with indifference, revenge, negativity and self destruction, even running away from them was often the answer for me. Although I still do escape a lot through music, it's been my constant throughout my life; even at 8 years old and thinking Foreigner and Don Henley were the shit. I found that besides my daily shower being my "me escape" time I've discovered meditation. Introduced to me by a dear close friend; she found a meditation group that didn't scare you away with the horrid touchy feely garbage that marks most Buddhists to be associated with hippies. It's meditation while keeping it real. Lol. Quiet time.
So, daily, I remind myself to accept, move on, forgive, love, embrace, laugh, and create. I hope you can, too. It's lovely.




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